Selfish

What does this photo have to do with selfishness? Not much. I just like this picture from my friend Bekah’s “Back-Pachelorette party” last weekend. (We went backpacking for her bachelorette party and then got a cabin!). It takes some un-selfishness to camp with lot of girls, yeah? Also, there is something about staring out quietly at beautiful mountain scenery that reminds you who God is, how  good he is, why He’s placed you here etc.

But that was last weekend. And this is the beginning of this week. And I have been going through some emotional-for-no-reason, being mean and sad, stuff. I repeat, for no good reason. I get like that sometimes, guys. And I’m sure I’m a little bit like that every day- mostly concerned with my own goings on, not trusting the Lord with the little (or big) things of life. Sometimes it’s good when your heart and emotions are being overly ridiculous, so  you know what ridiculous tendencies you probably have in the day-to-day (mine=selfishness and needines. *cough*).

There are times though that you do not even realize even when you are being overly ridiculous. And those are the times when I hope you, like me, have a good friend to point it out to you.

“Ruth [insert my last name here]! You had better stop being so selfish!” – My bosom friend Autumn (A.K.A. Spencie), featured front and center in that photo, wearing black and tan. Fashionista!

And she was right. She is right. And I know it. And she listened to me. And she loved me. And we looked up Bible verses. And we pray for each other.

And now I’m not feeling so down or inward focused, because she pointed me to the source of all worth.

If you struggle with feeling down about yourself, depending on others for your worth, thinking the world revolves around you (all of which are signs of selfishness, yeah?). I recommend you read a tiny little book entitled “The Freedom of Self-Forgetfullness” by Timothy Keller.

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“But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers” Psalm 1:2-3, Autumn and my memory verses for the week

The Lost Hug

For a while there, Autumn and I lost our hug.

Did my arms go above hers or below? Who turned their faces which direction? Did I stand on my tip-toes so my boobs rested on top of Autumn’s, or the other way around?

The hug was lost; the spark was gone, and we didn’t know what to do.

Did we still love each other? Well of course!

Did we still have great meaningful conversation and share all of life’s great adventure with one another? Yes. And we’ll never stop.

But somehow, every time we would have a “moment” and want to cap it off with a good hug- we’d have an awkward pause. An awkward, where is our “perfect hug?”

But somewhere along the way, we found it. I don’t know when or how it happened, y’all, but it did. And our hugs are magical.

And I can’t tell you whose arms go on top of whose, or who is on tip-toes, or who bends knees. I think it probably changes every time! All I really know is it’s beautiful, and that I could really use an Autumn hug right now.

But she is in Clemson and I am in Aiken. So we’ll just have to wait until this weekend.

I love you, Spencie!

Ruthie

The Large Sum of Money

Once upon a time, Ruthie’s mom was paranoid that all the banks would shut down, and she advised Ruthie to keep a large sum of cash hidden away in case terrible things happened.

So Ruthie put a large sum of cash in an ugly fuzzy sock. She kept this sock tucked away in her sock drawer.

“You are going to lose that,” said Autumn. “You should just put that in the bank”.

But Ruthie kept it in the ugly fuzzy sock that she never wore.

One month later, all the girls moved out of their apartment.

Boy, had they accumulated a lot of unnecessary junk over 3 years.

They filled 5 bags full of old puzzles, Halloween costumes, and socks to bring to the Salvation Army. Everyone got rid of a lot of stuff; they were all in a bind to get their things out of there by the deadline.

Ruthie put all her earthly belongings (minus her recent Salvation Army donations) into her parents’ truck and her cute little car, saying “bye bye” to sweet Clemson. She spent the next week unpacking all her things at her parents’ house. But as the week went by, Ruthie began to realize something horrible…She didn’t know where her ugly sock was.

She looked through every trash bag, every suit case, every box, but her large sum of money was missing.

“Oh my gosh… I think I must’ve donated it to the Salvation Army on accident!” Ruthie thought to herself. “I mean, I was in such a rush to move out, and that sock is awful ugly! I must have gotten rid of it.”

Ruthie felt horrible. She felt like the most terribly irresponsible person in the world. Young adult? Yeah right! Ruthie told no one about her predicament. With waiting tables all Summer, she would make up for her loss. No one had to know about her awful mistake.

But Ruthie has to share things with her girls! So one night, a few months later, Ruthie confessed to Katelyn and Chaela about her loss of the large sum of money. It felt good to get off her chest and to be able to laugh about it. Yes, Ruthie was terribly irresponsible, but life is more than money. Sometimes Ruthie freaks out about money too much, and this was God’s funny way of showing her that He is in control of such things.

Ruthie didn’t tell Autumn about her loss, because she was scared of what Autumn would think and knew Autumn would make fun of her (sorry Autumn, but you would have. You told Ruthie multiple times she wold lose it. And you know what? You were right!).

A few weeks later, Autumn came over to Ruthie’s house to help clean and organize Ruthie’s room. They wanted to hang a picture on the wall, so Autumn brought down Ruthie’s tool box to get the hammer and nails.

“Ewww, Ruth. You are so gross! You have an old sock in your toolbox. This better not be dirty!” exclaimed Autumn.

“Oh. My gosh, Autumn. That sock has a whole lot of money in it..” said a relieved, grateful, and shocked Ruthie.

And then Ruthie admitted the whole story to Autumn. And then she told her dad. Who told her mom, who was hopefully not too ashamed. And then Ruthie told you, because she’s crazy.

But don’t go searching through her sock drawer, because Ruthie brought that money to the bank (and gave some of it to charity. Because obviously, with a story like this, some of that money needed to go to charity!).

Moral of the story: It might be good to keep some money outside of the bank, but if you know you are prone to losing things, think twice about it!

Friendship Casserole

I should’ve taken a picture before we dug in, but we were hungry, so….

 

Anything can be a casserole- it’s like the hot version of a salad. All you do is throw a bunch of food together and throw it in the oven!

WABAM! Casserole.

Casseroles are my specialty, because we usually have lots of random food we need to use and because recipes are stupid (unless you’re making banana bread. For the love of all that is good and bananaey use a recipe for banana bread!).

Tonight I made a friendship casserole. It is called that, because everyone who ate of the casserole contributed in some way:

Autumn: provided the chicken, Greek salad dressing (marinade), green beans, and milk

Katelyn: provided the fire-roasted tomatoes

Elizabeth: provided the asparagus and a sprinkling of parmesan cheese

Myself: provided the rice, peppers, onions, sweet potato, eggs, leftover tortillas from the Mexican restaurant (for crust), and creativity

Chaela: provided love and support. She doesn’t technically live with us, so the only food she had with her tonight was a Reese’s peanut butter cup in her car.. I thought that might taste weird in the dish.

Put all these tasty ingredients together, and you get a pretty tasty friendship casserole. I bet your friendship casserole with your friends’ ingredients might look a tad different than mine. I’d love to see you try! Just ask permission before borrowing other peoples’ food. Food is personal. 🙂

May I Pray For You?

Prayer… I am sitting at my kitchen table, watching Ugly Betty with Katie, Brandon, and Jennifer, and thinking about prayer. Isn’t it so amazing that we have the privelege to commune with God?! That we can tell Him how awesome he is, intercede for one another, present our requests, and confess.. That God himself responds! I feel like I do not fully grasp how huge, how wonderful, how amazing it is that I can talk to the God of the universe. I want to take advantage of this privelege more and more. I want to grow closer to the Lord through fellowship, to delight in Him. I want Him to transform my desires to be like His desires.

Lately I’ve been focusing on praying for other’s more, and it has been such a blessing! It really makes you care for others more. It really helps me to think about specific people, and what they’re going through. It makes me a better listener, rememberer, and friend. Sometimes it’s hard to get started with praying for folks, but when I start, I find myself praying forever for loads of folks. Praying for one person makes you think of another to pray for. I find myself wondering about and praying for people I haven’t thought about in ages. Intercession is a way of stepping outside yourself, of putting others before yourself. Through prayer, relationships can become a lot more intentional, and a lot more personal. Many times I have found myself praying along the lines of this:

Oh Lord, thank you so much for Katelyn. She is such a wonderful and beautiful creation of yours. Help me to love her more. Please be with her as she goes through… well what is she going through? What’s she doing nowadays anyways? huh… Well, please fill her with your love and bless her with wisdom in whatever it is she’s doing.

Through trying to pray for my friends, I realize I have absolutely no clue what they are up to, and what they need prayer for. My desire to know what’s going on in people’s lives increases with the ammount I pray for them. When I see people, I actually think to ask how they are doing and about specific aspects of their lives. It’s amazing how much people will open up to you if you simply ask if there’s anything you can pray about for them! (Being humble, and talking about areas in which you struggle and need prayer is a large part of this too! So not only do you get to know your friend better and pray for them, but you may also have someone to pray for you as well! Well that’s a pretty neat system!). I have also found myself contacting and catching up with people that I wouldn’t normally have thought to contact. It is so easy to revert to the sinful nature, and be very self-centered.

My friend Hosanna is such a beautiful example of what the life filled with prayer looks like. She always remembers what’s going on in my life, and knows just the right questions to ask. Hosanna really knows how to make people feel special. It is very rare these days to find someone who actually listens to what others have to say, instead of spending all their energy thinking of their own response. (I am so, so guilty of this). She is humble, and loving, and non-judging and it is so easy to just pour your heart out to her. I was talking to her roommate, Emily, about this the other day, and Emily told me about how Hosanna spends a lot of time in prayer for other people. That got me thinking that I wanted to be very intentional about my prayers for others as well! Maybe you can too! I’m sure you will be blessed by it :))

Also.. Brandon wanted me to add the following to this blog post:

I love Brandon Stem. He is the coolest person I know. If I could be like anyone in the world, it would be him.

(What Brandon did not consider, was that now when anyone googles his name, this is what they will see. To Brandon’s future employers: Brandon is a top-notch guy, and you should hire him. Please do not judge him by his association with this blog.)

This is what happens when you brag that you haven’t been sick in two years..

Bananas, soup, club crackers, gingerale, Gatorade, and a bagel. This is what I’ve eaten the past two days.. “Wow, Ruth! Your diet certainly is odd for a nutritionist!”.. Nah, I usually eat a lot more veggies than that and a lot less caloric drinks; I’ve been sick. There stomach bug bus has been going around, and I’m afraid I was a passenger. I’d been feeling it coming every morning since Wednesday, but I just tried to write it off as too much breakfast. Friday night though, after watching the best movie ever with Katelyn (Forrest Gump), the sickness caught up with me.

When I get sick, I don’t tell anyone about it. I hide away until it’s over. I don’t want to make anyone take care of me, feel sorry for me, deal with my mess. The last thing I want to be is a burden. But I ended up with some care takers this time around, and I am extremely grateful for it.

From eleven until two on Friday I was puking every half hour. Well, by two it was more like dry heaving. My body wanted to be completely empty. I’m struggling with how to write all this in a classy and non-disgusting way… I was getting really de-hydrated, and I couldn’t keep the water from the sink down. At two I found myself wandering into the kitchen. I don’t know why I thought water from the kitchen would be any different; I think I really just wanted help, and still havent admitted it to myself.

There had been a HotRod watching party at midnight in my apartment on Friday, which I was extremely sad to miss. HotRod is pretty darn hilarious. Everyone was still up because the movie had just finished. Brandon and Kyser were still over. I remember that Kyser apologized for being loud and I said “Oh it’s fine.. I’ve been up anyways. I’m sick.” And from that point, my friends took care of me. People are astounding. “Ruth, when stuff like this happens you have to tell us, okay?” Katie said, and then she poured me one of her cans of Sprite. It’s amazing how well clear carbonated drinks settle on an upset stomach. Brandon, Kyser, and Jen went to the store to buy me Gingerale, and Peptobismol. I only threw up once more that  night.

I slept on the couch that night, and Brandon and Kyser stayed over to look after me. Brandon on an uncomfy futon, and Kyser on a recliner that doesn’t lean back all the way. Neither of them had blankets; I’m a bad hostess when I’m sick. I know they were very uncomfortable, and there was literally nothing more they could do for me, but they stayed anyways.. And I’ll admit, it was very comforting knowing they were there. “No man left behind” they say. This from the same guys that changed my car battery for me a few weeks ago.. I am very grateful for them!

I’m learning that sometimes people like to help. People like to feel needed, and I’ll admit that sometimes I really need people’s help. I’m not good at fixing my car. Sometimes I have to ask for directions. (Okay, that’s a lot of times). I had no clue what you do when you’re sick. I haven’t had the stomach bug since Valentine’s day in the third grade!! I think sometimes I hurt people’s feelings when I try and rely completely on myself and do not accept their help. Heck, I know it, because they’ve told me. It’s odd to think that in my desire to not be a burden on folks, I make them feel sad and unneeded.

This summer when Abbie and I had our jet ski incident (story for another day), I made fun of Abs for being like a guy in that she doesn’t like to ask others for directions. If that’s not a case of pointing out the spec of dust in your brothers eye while you’ve got a plank in your own, then I don’t know what is! I’m exactly the same! The idea of being completely self-reliable, powerful, and unneedy is very appealing to me. But the fact of the matter is, that is not how I am to live. Everyone is made different, and we all have to rely on each other. It is better for both a cow farmer and a brocolli grower if they do some trading. (Sorry for the odd example). As the body of Christ we lift each other up and help each other with our gifts, and as Christians we completely rely on Jesus daily.

So to quickly finish off my sicky story, even more people were so great and helped care for me. Chaela came over yesterday, and with the help of her mommy on the phone, we learned what I should eat! To be completely honest, I thought you just ate nothing at all the next couple days after being sick to your stomach. Shows how much I know. Katelyn let me eat one of her bagels, and then her and Chaela went to the store and bought me club crackers, soup, and Gatorade! What sweeties they are! Chaela and Bekah even sprayed the apartment (and me) down with Lysol for us, and brought vitamin C to strengthen everyone’s immune system!

Grateful for people. Grateful for Jesus :))). Grateful I was sick on the weekend and didn’t have to miss any school (I am such a nerd). Going back to bed now.