I am feeling contemplative sitting in Methodical Coffee Shop in downtown Greenville, SC today. It is June 9th, and I am hanging out whilst Autumn has an appointment getting things together to go to Greenville Tech in the Fall. Bear in mind I’m writing this post ahead of time, because I am at camp this summer!!! As you read this, it is June 25th – Fathers day (love you dad!), a Sunday – so I’m probably helping new campers settle in for the week, writing their names on all their belongings, teaching camp songs etc. My heart is probably full of joy and love and completeness, not this sense of “what is God doing in my life?”, “Where does he want me?”, “Why do I love so many places and the idea of doing so many things?” etc. But my today, June 9th, I am contemplative…
I’m not a sad sort of comtemplative – it’s the type of contemplative that is kind of exciting, yet also overwhelming. The type that looks to the future and says, “I know something crazy is going to happen and soon” – the kind that wants just a little bit to stay right where she is.. sitting in a coffee shop in her favorite city by the most beautiful yellow chairs. Young. Open to anything. Surrounded by beautiful family and friends. Content. Looking forward to the next adventure, but unsure of what it will be.
I think I got used to the idea of not knowing. Used to the idea of not having a plan. Who knew that your expectations could become that your future would be unexpected? I thought after I worked at camp this summer, I would go home, search for jobs a little bit. Thought I would probably pack all my stuff up, move to a tiny house in Greenville with Autumn, wait tables a bit until I found the perfect part time job up here… Keep up this kind of free-spirited life style I’ve got going on… See if true love found me in the upstate.. But circumstances have made it so that I might have a job waiting for me right when I get done at camp.
What I think I need to remember in times like these is that God is in control. And that I should be wise – and if a great job with a wonderful boss in a good city to live in literally falls into my lap just a little sooner than I wanted, my heart’s response should be absolute gratefullness and excitedness! Also, just because I might be working a big-girl 8 hour a day job does not mean I can’t be free-spirited, loving, joyful and fun!
I don’t know what life will look like in a few months – where I’ll be living, what I’ll be doing etc. (I actually might know by the time you’re reading this on Father’s day…). But I do know this – life is so much more exciting and wonderful than I could ever imagine it to be (it’s also a lot more broken and lost, but let’s not focus on that for a moment 🙂 ), and I am so excited to do whatever I’m called to do. Wherever and with whoever.
But if it’s not Greenville this year – I’m still going to visit all the time. And if you haven’t been, you should go. Because it’s legitimately the best. And if you don’t like it, keep it to yourself and don’t tell me, because your criticism will break my heart!