Sports have never been my thing.
I’m super competitive, easily frustrated with myself, and I cry when I’m frustrated. Do you see where this is leading?
I play a sport. I perform badly. I get angry at myself, and I start crying (which is quite humiliating!!).
Board games are my thing. I’m very good at board games, although I get very frustrated when I perform badly at those as well.
Some people would label me a “bad sport”. These people would be right.
My dad always encouraged us daughters to play tennis and volleyball, being the tall girls we are (because tall people are always good at sports). He hoped we’d go professional, buy him a boat, and help him into early retirement. Poor Dad did not succeed in turning his daughters into professional athletes, and he witnessed a lot of crying during his attempts. Us daughters do not like criticism of any sort from our father. In fact, my sisters and I do not appreciate being told what to do in general. Poor Dad could’ve used a son.
Dad’s lessons did not completely quench my desire for playing sports. I always imagined myself being a star at beach volleyball, leading my team to victory in basketbal, or being a cool soccer chick (with those awesome sock tanlines and everything 🙂 ). But everytime I tried sports, I did not live up to these imaginings. Instead I was the clumsy girl who felt in the way, like she was letting the team down. I decided to stick with ballet, and ballet only.
But now, in my second year of college, I’m ready to face my fear of team sports (took me a while, huh?). I’m ready to practice at something, to improve at it, and to have fun. I’m ready to get rid of my bad sportsmanship! So I joined an intramural ultimate frisbee team.
I know intramurals aren’t very serious, but this is a pretty huge deal to me.
Our team name is Vicious and Delicious and our shirts are bright pink!
Last night was our first game, and it was fun. I tried my best, and I didn’t take it too seriously. We lost, but I did not cry.
I think I might be growing as a person… Daddy will be proud.
Ruthie Rambles 
I played tennis in the Junior McDonalds Cup up until I was 16. It was then I plateaued and others who I had beaten in the past rose above me. Even before that I didn’t play well with others and singles was my game as I had a tendency to eat my doubles partners alive. I was so hard on myself and extended that attitude to those around me.
When I became a senior in high school and dropped out of the junior circuit I took up playing for my school. I was easily the best player and so some bright spark decided to make me captain – not the wisest move. It took me less than three weeks to go to the coach and ask to be replaced – I was a great player but I was a lousy sportsperson and an even worse captain.
My only saving grace was that I was as equally harsh with myself when it came to errors on the court. I liked to win and in those days second was the same as last in my mind and I would wear myself out with tears after every loss. It’s taken quite some time to cage that part of my nature and from time to time it does escape.
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I was hard on myself with dance, and I think that is a good thing! I don’t like the feeling of the success of a whole team resting on me… which is one reason why team sports are so scary to me.
I like to be really good at what I do. So what I’m not naturally great at, I stay away from. I think I’m ready to put myself out there, and try some stuff I’m not so hot at 🙂
Any tips on how to cage the frustration of losing?
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Try to lose yourself in the moment and the process of what you engage in. Don’t look for a win or a lose, don’t look to others to measure your place in the ranks, just immerse yourself in the pleasure of the exercise bet it intellectual, sporting, artistic etc. Sounds easy to say – in real life – not so much. It is hard to unlearn behaviour of a lifetime but NOT impossible. A way of cheating psychologically is to measure your attitude and consider it a win to enjoy the process not the end result. Competitive is good hyper competitive can be harmful. Good luck 🙂
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This sounds like very good advice! This is the attitude I try to have when I’m at the gym working out… Seems a little harder to transfer onto the sports field, but like you said, not impossible 🙂 Thank you for the encouragement and advice!
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