No matter what I do, I will always hurt people in some way. Lately my life has been lived trying to appease everyone, to make everyone happy,but this is impossible and unBiblical. I should strive to please the Lord, not every individual person. I feel as though I must be there for all people, go to all events, hang out with everybody, know all people, and know them fully. I long to be there for people, to quench their thirst for love and care, but I am not capable of such things. Everywhere people are hurting, longing to be known, understood and loved. They want to be known deeply. Only God can love in the way that we long to be loved. He knows every thought, action, intention, and desire of our heart. He knows our pasts, our weaknesses, and our insecurities. He knows our interests, our loves, what makes us happy. He knows all this, and yet He loves us. He loves us not because of something about us he finds worthy; He bestows worthiness upon us. His love is unconditional, infinite and everlasting. So many times we put on an act for people. We do not want them to know who we truly are. We hide our flaws, and showcase qualities that we think others will find desireable. We are so scared of being rejected and not loved as we really are. God sees through the act and loves us anyway.
Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases and redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion. Who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. ~Psalm 103:2-5
O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise, you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down. You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. ~Psalm 139:1-4
But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions- It is by grace you have been saved. ~Ephesians 2:4-5
(there are so many more Bible verses I could put, and these verses with context speak so much more into life. The Bible is so beautiful and True, I long to read and study it more.)
God has given me love for his people. The type of love that I do not need to be returned. “Love other’s not for what they do for you or how they make you feel, but because they are a human being created in the image of God.” I don’t think that is a real quote, but it is something I live by. Creation in general is so beautiful, wonderful, intricate and fascinating, and it points to the magnificent and caring creator. Human beings are the most beautiful of all creation because they are made in the image of the creator Himself. Each person is wonderful, special, uniue and worth knowing! So often I see these beautiful people in pain, in need of love, obviously searching for love, and I have love for them. How easy it is for me to fall for the lie that my love will satisfy their need, and their desires. The truth is that my love is not adequate for longing of anyones heart. Even if I dedicated my whole life to loving just one person, they would not be satisfied. My love is not God’s love, it is only a pointer to God’s love. The most loving thing I can do for people is to point them to the love of God, which is all satisfying. My love is not sufficient, God’s love is. I do not have the mental capacity, the life experience and empathy to know every person completely and deeply. I cannot physically be in more than one place for more than one person at a time. My physical body requires sleep, and energy. I spiritually need time in the Word and in meditation and prayer by myself. My level of sensitivity to people is very low. I am easily tired, annoyed and frustrated with people. I am constantly trying to express my love for people, but it is never enough. They never seem to really beleive me. I cannot tell you how many times I have hurt people. I hurt people when my goldfish mind forgets their name, or that it’s their birthday, or what their favorite color is. I hurt people when I can’t make it to visit for a long period of time, or when I misunderstand them. Sometimes I hurt people when I tell them my honest thoughts and feelings. I cannot imagine how many times I hurt people without even knowing it. Sometimes I feel like a chicken running around with its head cut off, constantly trying to please everyone, but really satisfying no one. Sometimes I feel like a peice of meat being ripped apart by many dogs, each trying to get as much for himself as he can. This is a result of putting myself in a role that I cannot fill. Time is limited, I am limited. I am not designed to be wholly depended on by other people, nor should I wholly depend on any other person. No human being is designed to be wholly depended on. This is putting someone in the place of God. This results in pain for both people, because the depender will be disappointed and the dependee will feel immense pressure to be what they cannot be. God is the stable rock, the firm foundation for our lives. He is to be the center, the focus of our lives. It is His love that people so need and desire. The most loving thing I can do for someone is to point them to Jesus the Lord and Savior, who satisfies and saves. We should build one another up in Him, and point each other to His love out of our own love. If we loves someone, and we know they are in need of something, we will point them to that something which they need.
In the Bible there are so many qualities that result from the love we should have for one another: not self seeking, kindness, patience, prayer for those we love, expression of love, forgiveness, humility, not judging, does not boast, does not envy and so many others. The greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart soul and mind; the second is to love others as yourself. (Matt. 22:37-38). May I love others in a Christ-like and Biblical way. May I point others to the Lord. My I learn and study the Word and learn Biblical truths both to apply to my life, and to speak into the lives of others I come into contact with. May I not put pressures on myself to be for people what only God can be, but may live day by day for the Lord doing what He calls me to do to the best of my ability.
I love you, but I can promise I will disappoint you. God loves you, and He is everything you need.